Gender Disappointment About a Second Boy? Let's Talk...
Let’s talk about gender disappointment when finding out you are having another boy!
I have two boys and let me tell you, I really really wanted my second baby to be a girl. In fact, while I was pregnant I began looking for girl baby names and even narrowed my choices down to my two favorite girl names.
I truly felt and believed I was carrying a baby girl. My husband also wanted a girl and when I asked my toddler if he wanted a brother or sister, he too said he wanted a sister. We were all on board for a girl.
Gender disappointment is real and it can some serious time to get over it.
Gender disappointment is when you really hoped for a boy or girl and got the opposite. Gender disappointment can happen with your first, second, third, whatever pregnancy you are on.
When I had my first boy I was happy because we all wanted a boy because there are so many girls in our family and my sisters have daughters.
That being said, in my first pregnancy, I felt happy when I found out I was having a boy. I felt like I won the lottery in my family.
However, I still had a yearning to have a daughter. I told myself life would be perfect if my next baby would be a girl. I grew up with sisters and always wanted an older brother so I thought I would b able to raise my dream kids and watch my son take care of his sister.
Well, things did not go as planned.
On the day of the ultrasound, My husband and I were really excited but nervous to find out the gender. Again I told myself this has to be a baby girl because I only wanted 2 kids so if it wasn’t a girl then I would miss out on that experience forever.
And so it began. The ultrasound technician did her thing then told me there is his little package… it’s a BOY! Omg, I looked at my husband and we both knew there was gender disappointment between us. I said oh wow, that’ great, but I knew it was going to take time to accept it.
I thought about being a mom to a beautiful mini-me and doing all the things I enjoy doing with my mom. I thought about never being able to experience raising a little girl and buying cute clothes and accessories.
Seriously, boys’ clothing is so blah. Girls have all the cute outfits and toys and I wanted that to be a part of my life. I wanted my husband to have a daddy’s girl and so did he.
I know what I wanted but it’s not the cards I was dealt so I began focusing on the positives of having two boys.
What are the positives of having two boys?
You get to witness firsthand a brotherhood. How cool is it for a boy to have an older brother he can lean on? Or how cool is it to see a boy grow into a nurturing supportive older brother? Those are characteristics we need in our men.
YOU SAVE MONEY!
You can really focus on quality over quantity. Girls have the cutest and most extensive options when it comes to what to wear and how to be FaBuLouS! It’s no surprise parents don’t want to spend much on each girl’s outfit because there are so many to choose from and it can get really expensive quickly. With boys, the market is limited and quite frankly sucks. The little boy’s department is almost always smaller than the little girl’s section. Therefore, parents of boys can focus on buying quality pricier items. I personally don’t mind spending $50+ on a nice pair of boys’ shoes because they generally only need one to two solid pairs of athletic shoes.
YOU SAVE TIME AND TIME IS MONEY!
I find myself just looking for comfort when I dress my boys. I look for soft cotton breathable fabric. Then I look for simple cute designs. If I had girls I know I would want to dress them up in outfits that match and potentially coordinate outfits with her. I would need to spend more time on her hair, especially if it is long. I’m not good at doing my own hair! Boys are simple when it comes to getting them dressed and getting them out the door.
You get to say ‘my boys’, how cute is that? Having two sons allows you to refer to them in public as my boys <3
Focus on the beauty of having unconditional love from quite a few boys 🙂 I witness it all the time, boys loving their mamas so deeply, always and forever. Boys will stand up for you and love you and appreciate you.
I’m sure daughters are also capable of a strong bond with their mother… however, I believe there is something extra special with mom and son love 🙂